* Little House in the Country: Kindergarten, Y'all!

It's the middle of the afternoon, and I'm on my computer. It has been a LONG time since that has happened. But Ila is taking a nap, James is strapped to my chest in his carrier (also napping), and Eden is at... KINDERGARTEN!

That's right - my baby girl started BIG GIRL SCHOOL!

Her first day was last Wednesday, but I haven't written this post until now because we had a bit of a rocky start.

Which was completely unexpected. She's always been my super outgoing, never-met-a-stranger kid. Trying new things has never phased her. Dancing on stage in front of an audience... no big deal. So I wasn't worried at all about how she would handle starting kindergarten. She never shed a single tear when she went off to pre-school at the age of 3, and last year, toward the end of pre-k, she kept telling me how she couldn't wait until she got to go to kindergarten in Building 2.

But I think Building 2 was just a littttlllleee more overwhelming than she was expecting, and although she woke up super excited and ready to go last Wednesday, once we were at the school, I could tell she was getting nervous, and once it was time for me and Dustin to leave the classroom, she broke down in tears. I rushed back in to hug and comfort her until Mrs. Little came and took over and let me know I could go.

She cried in the car on the way home that afternoon. She told me she couldn't go back because she missed me too much. Heartbreaking. And she cried when I dropped her off the second morning too.

I could barely stand to see her like that; I was all ready to take her out and homeschool her. For real.

But when I picked her up that second day, she was in the BEST MOOD EVER! She had done a worksheet in music class and made a 100! Her first 100 ever! And being the little perfectionist that she is, she said she couldn't wait to go back so she could make some more 100s! That's my girl!

She had a great day Friday, we had a fun weekend, and then... On Sunday night when she found out she had to go back to school the next day, the crying started all over again.

Once the day starts going, she always has fun. I have friends from the school from my teaching days who send me pictures and texts letting me know how Eden is doing throughout the day... and they always have positive things to report. And all week when I've gone to pick her up, she gets in my car in a great mood, happy to tell me all about the fun things she did. But every night, she gets nervous and says she misses me so much when she's at school. I put notes in her lunchbox every day, and a couple of days ago, a friend from the school texted to tell me that Eden held the note from me in her hand for the whole lunch period.

Finally... Last night we had a great bedtime, and for the first time since school has started, there were no tears shed! She was excited to get to school this morning!

As for me? Well I definitely shed my share of tears as well. I never let her see me cry because I tried to act all happy and positive and all "SCHOOL IS THE BEST THING EVER, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SO MUCH FUN AND MAKE SO MANY FRIENDS AND LEARN SO MANY COOL THINGS!" when I was around her, but usually the second I was away from her after drop off or bedtime, I was crying. Partly because she's my baby girl, and I can't believe she's off to kindergarten. And partly because my heart was breaking to see her so upset.

But I think all is well now. We're getting into a new schedule around here, and it's fun to have so much time with Ila now. Ila definitely misses her sister though and lets me know it. They got very close to each other this summer while I was busy with James, so I knew it was probably going to be a little hard on Ila when Eden left.

Okay, I'm going to do that super annoying thing now where I talk to my child on this blog even though she can't read it. But maybe one day she will.

To my precious Eden. To the girl who made me a mother. Thank you for giving me the best years of my life. I can still picture the moment that the nurse first handed you to me. I can still picture your eyes blinking up at me. You kept sticking your tongue out at me too. You grew and grew and grew, and somehow, five and a half years flew by in the blink of an eye, and man oh man were they fun! We've spent almost every minute of the last five and a half years together. Preschool a few mornings a week was nothing compared to what we're doing now. I've been there to witness pretty much every milestone, every laugh, every tear. Believe me when I say... I miss you as much as you miss me. But it's time. It's time for your world to get just a little bit bigger. It's time for you to have a world that doesn't have me in it. Now go rock kindergarten, Baby Girl! I love you!