Ah, motherhood? How do you describe it? It's hard... Impossible probably... to put those feelings into words. The best I can do is to say it's like your heart explodes... but in a good way! Nothing could have prepared me. I knew it was going to be wonderful, but it's so much better. I knew I would love it, but it's so much better. I knew I would love her, but it's so much more. I loved her when I found out I was pregnant, I loved her when I first felt her kick, I loved her when they put her in my arms, but today I love her more. Each day that goes by I fall more and more in love with Eden. And it's a love that I cannot put into words. So I'll just say that it's like my heart explodes.
For Mother's Day, my mom sent me two books... One of them is called
Mother's Love containing true stories from the Animal Kingdom. The cat that walked into a burning building five times to save each one of her kittens and then collapsed once they were all safe, the dog that adopted a baby squirrel into her litter of puppies, the mother elephant that risked her life to save her baby from a flood, etc. In the book it talks about maternal instincts and how nature just takes over when you become a mom. I believe that's so true. Right before Eden was born, I remember panicking slightly and telling my mom that I was worried that when she cried I wouldn't know what to do. My mom said, "You'll know." No sentence was ever truer. From the very first time Eden let out a wail, I knew exactly what to do.
I love being a mother. LOVE IT. How cliche to say it, but it's really the best thing that ever happened to me. I feel silly even saying that sentence because I mean, really... How obvious! But in honor of Mother's Day, I have to say it!
Last week, Dustin and I went to watch a Little League baseball game. As we're walking up the sidewalk to the field, people are turning to look at Eden and strangers are telling us congratulations and how pretty she is. A mom came up to me and said, "Don't you just feel like a queen?" Yeah, I do. That's a good way to put it. I am absolutely on top of the world with my little baby. But I'm only a queen because I have this little princess.
She was sick a couple of days ago. She woke up on Friday with a cold - coughing, sneezing, runny nose, glassy eyes. It broke my heart. It seemed even more pathetic because she hardly cried... you could look at her and know she felt miserable... and she would try her hardest to smile at you. It was so sad! We had a looonnnnggg Friday night of saline nose drops, a nasal aspirator (aka the boogie sucky) and Little Colds Baby Rub. Oh, and lots of snuggles. By Saturday night, she was back to normal (we knew she was back to normal because we could no longer hear her breathing from across the room), and I couldn't help but feel ridiculously proud of myself for taking such good care of her. I even bragged to Dustin that I rocked at being a mom. :)
Dustin did so good for me for Mother's Day. He even stretched it into two days and gave me an entire Mother's Day weekend. He got up early on Saturday and went to the store and came back with a baby rose plant (I'm going to try REALLY HARD to keep it alive!), a giant card from "Eden" and all the stuff to make me a 5-course meal.
My baby is such a genius, and with just a little help from Dad she signed her card to me herself!
Here she's thinking hard about what she wants to write in the card...
She decided to go with the classic "Love Eden".
Dustin cooked pretty much alllll day on Saturday for me. He would get one course ready, I would come eat it, then I would go about my day while he started working on the next course and then would call me back into the kitchen when that one was ready. We had:
Course 1: bread dipped in olive oil, salami and parmesan cheese
Course 2: salad with his homemade dressing
Course 3: steamed crab
Course 4: homemade lobster ravioli
Course 5: chocolate dipped strawberries
The only one I got involved with was the lobster ravioli. I've always wanted to make ravioli from scratch, so I put myself in charge of making the pasta. Once I had the rolling pin in hand and was once again covered in flour, I remembered vowing after
Eden's Baptism to not do anything with dough for a LONNNGGGG time! Oh well, we had so much fun!
On Sunday, Dustin made breakfast, and after church, we went shopping. Dustin was the best... He pushed Eden in her stroller and followed me around the store and then sat outside the dressing room while I tried on all my stuff. And he never complained. Then he took me to lunch at Pappasitos, and I really think that after everything I ate this weekend, I gained back all the baby weight I lost!
I really did have the best first Mother's Day. There's nothing else I would have wanted. I'm seriously considering having my first Mother's Day card framed! Am I crazy?
The card that Dustin gave me from him said, "Life isn't always a fairy tale. The castle gets messy, the little peasants sometimes revolt, and we both know your prince isn't always so charming. But you handle it royally. Thank you for making every single day feel like Happily-Ever-After. Happy Mother's Day to the Queen of our home, the love of my life." It was the absolute perfect card to get me. After I read it, I said, "You did good!" He smiled. He knew he did good.
These days my life is pretty simple. I cook, I clean, I take care of Eden. But I really do feel like a queen. I really do feel like the luckiest girl in the world. I am so blessed.
Two quotes from Mother's Love:
A mother's love for her child is like nothing else in the world. It knows no law, no pity, it dares all things and crushes down remorselessly all that stands in its path. -Agatha Christie
Making the decision to have a child is momentous. It is to decide forever to have your heart go walking around outside your body. -Elizabeth Stone
And another picture of Eden... just 'cause:
